I cannot believe how fast time has been flying past me the past few months....
Well, since my last post I am now Mrs. Mollenkopf, had a wonderful time in Tennessee, and a magical time at Disney World! I am half-way through with my Pediatrics class - which means I am only 7 months away from graduation. It sounds like forever, but when I rationalize I realize it is only 3 courses (after this one)! I will have 8 weeks of OB, then 8 weeks of Psych, and finally 8 weeks of Critical Care! I try not to think about all of that because then I begin getting extremely nervous about the NCLEX and all the stress that will bring.
So to distract myself and to cure my post-Mickey blues I have already begun planning our next Disney World trip which will (hopefully) be happening in approximately 440 days (January 2013). I may be a little ahead of myself on this one, but I already have out hotel picked out. We will definitely be staying at the Bay Lake Towers, which is walking distance to the Magic Kingdom! Also, we decided this time we are going to stay 9 days so we have time for the parks and will also have some down time! Well, when I brought this up to my LOVELY husband he informed me that we are not to go on another Disney trip until we have our honeymoon... I can't blame him, some time away from the kids would be wonderful. So, that lead me to start planning another trip to (hopefully) happen right after I graduate this June. Dustin really wants to go to Hawaii, but we decided for the time being we might have to make it Mexico to save a little money. I have been looking at some gorgeous resorts on the caribbean side, near Cancun. I am trying not to get too distracted in planning all of this because then I will completely ignore all of my schoolwork I should be doing... not to mention we aren't necessarily made of money and this requires some tricky budgeting. Anyone who wants to come party in Mexico in June is more than welcome to come along!!
Now, the children! Coltan had his 4th birthday on the 10th and was seriously depressed when Dustin took down all of his Birthday decorations. I am pretty sure he thought his birthday should last forever! He is continuously a riot, saying some of the most ridiculously funny things I could ever imagine. Today he told me that this little scratch on his nose came from a monster. He told me the monster came into his room and "put it on me." Then when asked where the monster came from, he told me he was from the "monster house." When I asked what the monster looked like he, very seriously, said it was "red with purple polka dots." What I wouldn't give for that imagination, love that kid to pieces! Cory is doing great and kicking butt at school. He has a play tomorrow where he is going to be an English settler and has memorized his paragraph like a pro! He was very nervous at first but has since become very proud of his accomplishment. He has recently discovered a love of soccer, which is awesome - now he is wanting to join a soccer team! I have said he would be great at soccer, that boy has such high energy and loves to run. Emma turned 13 this past week, which is absolutely insane that she is actually a teenager. She and Chloe are both helping me to plan our next Disney trip, I feel like I have passed my Disney obsession along to them =). Chloe is doing great, and totally kicking butt at school - middle school is turning out to be pretty awesome for her!
Hopefully I will be able to get my hands on some Disney pictures and will post a picture update soon! For the time being I just wanted to update my blog before I completely forgot about it, now to start decorating for Christmas!!
Oh, and Thanks to all of my friends and family that made my wedding day one of the best days of my life!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Have to keep a happy face...
I never thought the day would come when my sister and I would not be close. I knew our priorities were going in different directions, but I always figured we would have each other to keep us grounded, together, and bonded. I was wrong. It still stings, pretty bad, so I won't go into detail but the day did come. My sister and I are no longer on talking terms... it is a rough situation.
2 weeks before my wedding and I am short my entire bridal party (totally awesome, hah)! I always told myself I didn't need 15 people standing up there with me because I would have my sister. Now I don't have a bridal party, a Maid of Honor, or anyone to stand up with me.
Not only is this situation causing me great sadness and sorrow, but we can add embarrassment on top of everything. Who on earth bails from an event that means so much to a "loved" one? I say "loved" because there is no way you can love someone and honestly do this to them.
Everyone keeps asking how the wedding plans are coming along, and the truth is they are about finished... except now I am starting from scratch and need to find someone to stand up there with me and can fit into the darn dress we bought. My mother has been my best friend for so long... but she already has so many roles that day. UGH... unnecessary stress, for sure. This stupid stress is leading me to not get any stupid sleep which is putting me in a pretty stupid bad mood. Just stupid stuff!
On a better note, Dustin's sister (in-law) threw us a lovely prenuptial party and I had a really great time. I was nervous that none of my family would be there, but they are soon going to be my family so it was really nice getting some time alone to get to know them even more. I cannot wait for the wedding to have both families come together, it will be so much fun!
Now I just have to make it through tonight and 5 more days of work, and then I am out of work for 2 weeks... OMGosh, I cannot wait. I SERIOUSLY need a break from reality, my mind can barely take it!
2 weeks before my wedding and I am short my entire bridal party (totally awesome, hah)! I always told myself I didn't need 15 people standing up there with me because I would have my sister. Now I don't have a bridal party, a Maid of Honor, or anyone to stand up with me.
Not only is this situation causing me great sadness and sorrow, but we can add embarrassment on top of everything. Who on earth bails from an event that means so much to a "loved" one? I say "loved" because there is no way you can love someone and honestly do this to them.
Everyone keeps asking how the wedding plans are coming along, and the truth is they are about finished... except now I am starting from scratch and need to find someone to stand up there with me and can fit into the darn dress we bought. My mother has been my best friend for so long... but she already has so many roles that day. UGH... unnecessary stress, for sure. This stupid stress is leading me to not get any stupid sleep which is putting me in a pretty stupid bad mood. Just stupid stuff!
On a better note, Dustin's sister (in-law) threw us a lovely prenuptial party and I had a really great time. I was nervous that none of my family would be there, but they are soon going to be my family so it was really nice getting some time alone to get to know them even more. I cannot wait for the wedding to have both families come together, it will be so much fun!
Now I just have to make it through tonight and 5 more days of work, and then I am out of work for 2 weeks... OMGosh, I cannot wait. I SERIOUSLY need a break from reality, my mind can barely take it!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Relationships and Love.
I have been feeling full of love and butterflies lately so I decided I would share my thoughts on longterm relationships.
Growing up I always watched fairytales and thought that Prince Charming would just show up, sweep me off my feet, and we would ride away to live happily ever after. Then, as I came into High School, I kept hearing adults say how much "work" a relationship was to maintain. I thought these people were nuts, there was no way true love would take actual work. Out of high school I had my first grown-up relationship and that failed miserably, and not for lack of trying but just because we were too different. My whole world was flipped upside down when I moved to Ohio and I had no intention of meeting anyone anytime soon, but of course when you least expect it is when it happens. Dustin sort of broke all of my rules and it didn't really matter because something felt so right with him. We moved forward, we had some unexpected things happen *Coltan* and that was really hard for me to handle considering my past. I gave Dustin some very hard times while I was pregnant, but not out of spite but because I was trying to figure everything out as well. Anyway, he stuck around and fast forward 4 years later and here we are. Relationships do take some work, but nothing that I would ever complain about. Relationships involve arguments, negotiating, and learning... still nothing I would ever complain about. I grew up with a fabulous example of what a great marriage takes. My parents have been married 28 years and are still so cute and in love, so I knew I would never settle for any less. They have argued, they have their differences, but in the end I think they realize they love each other too much to let it come between them. It is funny because that is the exact same way I feel now. We fight, sometimes we feel like we fight too much but most of our fights stem from the fact we don't have enough time together. I cannot wait for the time when I am not in school full time and I can work normal hours so I can spend time with him and the family, all at once. What a concept! I get so frustrated sometimes at the lack of time I get with him because I really want to spend ALL of my time with him, and the kids of course.
Anyway, relationships do take a lot of learning and reflection. For example, I have learned that I used to expect Dustin to already know what I was thinking. I know it sounds insane, but I just figured he would be able to predict what I wanted him to say or do. As soon as I realized that is what I was doing, I knew I needed to express certain things with him and that I have no right to get mad at him for something he was never aware of. Now I know that I can hold a grudge for a (really) long time, and that is something I am still working on. Either way, I think people give up on some relationships too easily. I think they expect these fairytales and when they hit any obstacles they just assume they will find another person instead of working on their relationship as well as themselves. I think by working on my relationship with Dustin over the past 5 years I have discovered so much about myself, that is helping to make me a better person.
I think my biggest fear is becoming one of those couples that "falls out of love." I have never fallen out of love, and at this point I can't imagine ever falling out of love with Dustin, but I am just curious if that is what everyone says at one point or another? I know that Dustin is my soulmate so I know I will do what it takes to ensure that doesn't ever happen, but this is just one of those unexplained fears of my own. I want to grow very old with this man. I can't wait to retire with this him, move to California, live near a winery, and travel the world.
I am just in a state of feeling butterflies, love-struck, and general giddiness. I have akways been annoyed by PDA and people that can't stop talking about their love, etc.. I have been playing it down for so long, but I really cannot wait to become Mrs. Mollenkopf (or Mollendorn =]) and to live a very very exciting, adventurous, and long life with my love.
So, I really just want to tell some of my friends not to give up on love. It is out there, it just takes patience and will come when you are not expecting it. Don't give up on relationships if that love can be salvaged, just make sure your partner is all in and work through it! Life is far too short to keep running from yourself and love.
Growing up I always watched fairytales and thought that Prince Charming would just show up, sweep me off my feet, and we would ride away to live happily ever after. Then, as I came into High School, I kept hearing adults say how much "work" a relationship was to maintain. I thought these people were nuts, there was no way true love would take actual work. Out of high school I had my first grown-up relationship and that failed miserably, and not for lack of trying but just because we were too different. My whole world was flipped upside down when I moved to Ohio and I had no intention of meeting anyone anytime soon, but of course when you least expect it is when it happens. Dustin sort of broke all of my rules and it didn't really matter because something felt so right with him. We moved forward, we had some unexpected things happen *Coltan* and that was really hard for me to handle considering my past. I gave Dustin some very hard times while I was pregnant, but not out of spite but because I was trying to figure everything out as well. Anyway, he stuck around and fast forward 4 years later and here we are. Relationships do take some work, but nothing that I would ever complain about. Relationships involve arguments, negotiating, and learning... still nothing I would ever complain about. I grew up with a fabulous example of what a great marriage takes. My parents have been married 28 years and are still so cute and in love, so I knew I would never settle for any less. They have argued, they have their differences, but in the end I think they realize they love each other too much to let it come between them. It is funny because that is the exact same way I feel now. We fight, sometimes we feel like we fight too much but most of our fights stem from the fact we don't have enough time together. I cannot wait for the time when I am not in school full time and I can work normal hours so I can spend time with him and the family, all at once. What a concept! I get so frustrated sometimes at the lack of time I get with him because I really want to spend ALL of my time with him, and the kids of course.
Anyway, relationships do take a lot of learning and reflection. For example, I have learned that I used to expect Dustin to already know what I was thinking. I know it sounds insane, but I just figured he would be able to predict what I wanted him to say or do. As soon as I realized that is what I was doing, I knew I needed to express certain things with him and that I have no right to get mad at him for something he was never aware of. Now I know that I can hold a grudge for a (really) long time, and that is something I am still working on. Either way, I think people give up on some relationships too easily. I think they expect these fairytales and when they hit any obstacles they just assume they will find another person instead of working on their relationship as well as themselves. I think by working on my relationship with Dustin over the past 5 years I have discovered so much about myself, that is helping to make me a better person.
I think my biggest fear is becoming one of those couples that "falls out of love." I have never fallen out of love, and at this point I can't imagine ever falling out of love with Dustin, but I am just curious if that is what everyone says at one point or another? I know that Dustin is my soulmate so I know I will do what it takes to ensure that doesn't ever happen, but this is just one of those unexplained fears of my own. I want to grow very old with this man. I can't wait to retire with this him, move to California, live near a winery, and travel the world.
I am just in a state of feeling butterflies, love-struck, and general giddiness. I have akways been annoyed by PDA and people that can't stop talking about their love, etc.. I have been playing it down for so long, but I really cannot wait to become Mrs. Mollenkopf (or Mollendorn =]) and to live a very very exciting, adventurous, and long life with my love.
So, I really just want to tell some of my friends not to give up on love. It is out there, it just takes patience and will come when you are not expecting it. Don't give up on relationships if that love can be salvaged, just make sure your partner is all in and work through it! Life is far too short to keep running from yourself and love.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A new DECADE!
I am stealing the phrase of entering a "new decade" from my mother, not just because she is a genius but also because it is the best way to describe it. I am sure there is an easier way to explain this but when you are losing weight (therefore counting down) and going by tens, when you cross the bridge into a new 10 then you have entered into a new "decade." Well, I barely made it into a new one but boy is it motivating to see some new numbers on that scale! Makes me want to eat celery and water all day long if I can keep seeing progress, haha. Just kidding, I have been eating tons of fruit, veggies, soup, and protein... and no worries, I haven't completely eliminated carbs, I have just cut them down by like 90% haha. So, on that note everything is FABULOUS.
Oh, I nearly forgot, I went tanning for the first time in (probably) 3 years and it was W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L! Tanning is like crack to me. I never overdid it to the point I was orange, but it is so relaxing and rejuvinating... and I miss it! I told the lady that signed me up that this could be the beginning of a bad thing all over again. Oh well, for the time being I am going to enjoy it. I will be tan (without having to use a bronzer) and I will be happy!
So this week has been pretty exhausting. It started on Monday with Dustin having his surgery for his wisdom teeth. Thank God he doesn't remember it because it was something else. Although he was knocked out with general anesthesia we could hear him screaming from the waiting room and that just made me sick to my stomach. Sick to my stomach AND I wanted to punch some Doctors... or the Receptionist... or anyone that thought putting my fiance through this was a good idea. Well, at least now those teeth are gone and he is just trying to heal and maintain the post-op pain. So, when we added Dustin's recent oral issues alongside me picking up tons of OT (gotta have $$ for the trip) that lead to a pretty exhausted Kelly the past 4 days. Then, tonight I am finally catching up on my sleep when Dustin comes to tell me that Coltan just puked all over and is really sick. Great. So, Dustin gets him in a bath and I go on a hunt for a thermometer... which of course cannot be found so I had to run to the store. Of course at this time Dustin has popped a percocet, because he thought all the kids were going to bed, so I knew we were working on limited time before he would crash. When I get back we find Coltan has a temp of 101.5, which was better than I expected, and is complaining his ear hurts and telling me "I don't feel good." After some motrin, TLC, and gingerale he was feeling better enough to eat something and watch "Despicable Me." My last update was he crashed and has no temp at the moment... Thank God, my poor baby! I absolutely HATE having to leave when anyone in my family does not feel well. It was terrible leaving Dustin on Monday night and again tonight leaving Coltan.
It seems like flu/sick season is upon us... ick. Don't forget to get your flu shot!!
30 days from today I will be marrying my true love!! *EEK*
Oh, I nearly forgot, I went tanning for the first time in (probably) 3 years and it was W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L! Tanning is like crack to me. I never overdid it to the point I was orange, but it is so relaxing and rejuvinating... and I miss it! I told the lady that signed me up that this could be the beginning of a bad thing all over again. Oh well, for the time being I am going to enjoy it. I will be tan (without having to use a bronzer) and I will be happy!
So this week has been pretty exhausting. It started on Monday with Dustin having his surgery for his wisdom teeth. Thank God he doesn't remember it because it was something else. Although he was knocked out with general anesthesia we could hear him screaming from the waiting room and that just made me sick to my stomach. Sick to my stomach AND I wanted to punch some Doctors... or the Receptionist... or anyone that thought putting my fiance through this was a good idea. Well, at least now those teeth are gone and he is just trying to heal and maintain the post-op pain. So, when we added Dustin's recent oral issues alongside me picking up tons of OT (gotta have $$ for the trip) that lead to a pretty exhausted Kelly the past 4 days. Then, tonight I am finally catching up on my sleep when Dustin comes to tell me that Coltan just puked all over and is really sick. Great. So, Dustin gets him in a bath and I go on a hunt for a thermometer... which of course cannot be found so I had to run to the store. Of course at this time Dustin has popped a percocet, because he thought all the kids were going to bed, so I knew we were working on limited time before he would crash. When I get back we find Coltan has a temp of 101.5, which was better than I expected, and is complaining his ear hurts and telling me "I don't feel good." After some motrin, TLC, and gingerale he was feeling better enough to eat something and watch "Despicable Me." My last update was he crashed and has no temp at the moment... Thank God, my poor baby! I absolutely HATE having to leave when anyone in my family does not feel well. It was terrible leaving Dustin on Monday night and again tonight leaving Coltan.
It seems like flu/sick season is upon us... ick. Don't forget to get your flu shot!!
30 days from today I will be marrying my true love!! *EEK*
Friday, September 16, 2011
O.M.G.... 34 Days!
So, I have a few things I wanted to approach in this email. Let's start with my overly ambitious goal over the next month. I am going to do a cleansing diet for the next 30 days with the goal of losing 30 lbs in 30 days. I have convinced myself it won't be too bad because it is only for 30 days and after I will move towards stage 2, which is just general healthy eating and exercise habits.
This project will mainly revolve around eating habits and following a very strict diet consisting of mainly vegetables, fruits, and some lean proteins. Carbs are the enemy for 30 days. So, I will use the blog to track this little adventure and see if I can keep up. I am much better with short term goals like this, extreme or not. I am going to do my best to get as much exercise as possible but because the next few weeks are INSANE between working (average) 55 hours/week (gotta love overtime) + 12 hours clinicals (= 67 hours spent away from home, in a hospital), school-work, wedding preparations, mommy-work, Cory's Bday preparations, and somehow fitting sleep into my schedule I just feel like exercise has to take a backseat.
So, here we go... 30 in 30!
Now, I would like to take some time to vent about some personal characteristics I find incredibly revolting. These complaints stem from observations and encounters with many different people but mainly with some of the people I have worked with. Alright, so what is with talking down to people? What is it that makes you think you are so much better than the rest of us? Whatever this magic is about you, you still have no right to talk down to any other person. I am not going to go into the fact we are all the same in the eyes of God, because that is religious and anyone who has any type of faith would already know this. Instead I am just going to assume that you must have incredible self-doubt and countless insecurities. There is nothing attractive about being a bully. Seriously, nothing. Also, it doesn't cancel out if you are a bully one second and the next trying to be friendly and sincere. To be honest, that just comes across as a show, 100% fake, and really just makes you look worse. If you are going to be a jerk, then just commit to it and always be a jerk. If you do this then I will be able to anticipate how to act around you and I won't have to pretend laugh at your jokes or when you go on one of your "me" rants (you know what I am talking about, when you won't stop talking about EVERYTHING concerning you!). I try and tell myself to be the better person, but at this moment you can blame it on my lack of sleep but I would really like to punch you in the face. Insted of punching you in the face I will just keep hoping you find some inner peace and happiness and I will continue to be perfectly content knowing I don't have to treat people like that to feel better... I am very happy with my life, the love of my life, my kids, and the fact I am working on improving my life.
Second, why is it SO darn hard to apologize? I apologize when I mess up (although Dustin may disagree with this). When I make a mistake at work, I own up and apologize. Sometimes I may even over-apologize and that is something I would like to work on - but at least I can swallow my pride for a few seconds to apologize when I mess up. So, why is it so hard for other people to do? How is that someone else can not get something right, all on their own, and they magically turn it around onto an innocent person? I suppose it must take talent to be able to do that, but really that is just crappy. I have been through enough in the past 10 years to teach me that your ego is not the be all and end all. Having children made me realize that I am not the center of the universe, and not that I encourage people to just go out and have kids but it is definitely life changing. Oh my gosh, I pray that some of these people do not procreate, but if they did maybe it would change them. All I ask for is an apology sometimes. Especially when quiet/reserved/timid Kelly finally speaks up and shows you an error you made, instead of blaming it on someone else... just OWN UP. Ugh, it won't kill you. In fact it won't even harm you. You will probably feel better for being able to say sorry, maybe you will become a less angry person.
And O.M.Gosh PLEASE chew with your mouth closed? Especially when you are chewing on gum. I beg you, pretty please! Where on earth do people learn that chewing with your mouth open and snapping your food loudly is ok? Ick!
I feel a little better for getting that off my chest, it really has been driving me crazy.
(If you are reading this, and I work with you, chances are this is NOT about you.)
Finally, just a big shout out to my almost Husband. Today is his birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) and he has not been able to enjoy it all due to some excruciating pain/issues with some teeth. I love you and I can't wait to celebrate your birthday properly. Here is to a GREAT year, and to many many MANY more. Love you and those adorable dimples =).
This project will mainly revolve around eating habits and following a very strict diet consisting of mainly vegetables, fruits, and some lean proteins. Carbs are the enemy for 30 days. So, I will use the blog to track this little adventure and see if I can keep up. I am much better with short term goals like this, extreme or not. I am going to do my best to get as much exercise as possible but because the next few weeks are INSANE between working (average) 55 hours/week (gotta love overtime) + 12 hours clinicals (= 67 hours spent away from home, in a hospital), school-work, wedding preparations, mommy-work, Cory's Bday preparations, and somehow fitting sleep into my schedule I just feel like exercise has to take a backseat.
So, here we go... 30 in 30!
Now, I would like to take some time to vent about some personal characteristics I find incredibly revolting. These complaints stem from observations and encounters with many different people but mainly with some of the people I have worked with. Alright, so what is with talking down to people? What is it that makes you think you are so much better than the rest of us? Whatever this magic is about you, you still have no right to talk down to any other person. I am not going to go into the fact we are all the same in the eyes of God, because that is religious and anyone who has any type of faith would already know this. Instead I am just going to assume that you must have incredible self-doubt and countless insecurities. There is nothing attractive about being a bully. Seriously, nothing. Also, it doesn't cancel out if you are a bully one second and the next trying to be friendly and sincere. To be honest, that just comes across as a show, 100% fake, and really just makes you look worse. If you are going to be a jerk, then just commit to it and always be a jerk. If you do this then I will be able to anticipate how to act around you and I won't have to pretend laugh at your jokes or when you go on one of your "me" rants (you know what I am talking about, when you won't stop talking about EVERYTHING concerning you!). I try and tell myself to be the better person, but at this moment you can blame it on my lack of sleep but I would really like to punch you in the face. Insted of punching you in the face I will just keep hoping you find some inner peace and happiness and I will continue to be perfectly content knowing I don't have to treat people like that to feel better... I am very happy with my life, the love of my life, my kids, and the fact I am working on improving my life.
Second, why is it SO darn hard to apologize? I apologize when I mess up (although Dustin may disagree with this). When I make a mistake at work, I own up and apologize. Sometimes I may even over-apologize and that is something I would like to work on - but at least I can swallow my pride for a few seconds to apologize when I mess up. So, why is it so hard for other people to do? How is that someone else can not get something right, all on their own, and they magically turn it around onto an innocent person? I suppose it must take talent to be able to do that, but really that is just crappy. I have been through enough in the past 10 years to teach me that your ego is not the be all and end all. Having children made me realize that I am not the center of the universe, and not that I encourage people to just go out and have kids but it is definitely life changing. Oh my gosh, I pray that some of these people do not procreate, but if they did maybe it would change them. All I ask for is an apology sometimes. Especially when quiet/reserved/timid Kelly finally speaks up and shows you an error you made, instead of blaming it on someone else... just OWN UP. Ugh, it won't kill you. In fact it won't even harm you. You will probably feel better for being able to say sorry, maybe you will become a less angry person.
And O.M.Gosh PLEASE chew with your mouth closed? Especially when you are chewing on gum. I beg you, pretty please! Where on earth do people learn that chewing with your mouth open and snapping your food loudly is ok? Ick!
I feel a little better for getting that off my chest, it really has been driving me crazy.
(If you are reading this, and I work with you, chances are this is NOT about you.)
Finally, just a big shout out to my almost Husband. Today is his birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) and he has not been able to enjoy it all due to some excruciating pain/issues with some teeth. I love you and I can't wait to celebrate your birthday properly. Here is to a GREAT year, and to many many MANY more. Love you and those adorable dimples =).
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Life really can change in a flash.
So, I am pretty sure everyone knows my Grandma unexpectedly passed away in July. Your whole life you grow up knowing your Grandparents are older and your time with them is (relatively) limited, but there was something so special about this lady... I swear to you I thought she would be here forever. I lost my Grandma Hagerdorn in high school, but I think I was too young to comprehend what the loss really was. As sudden as her passing was, we were at least given the time to say goodbye to her. My Grandpa Hagerdorn is another story, it feels like when his wife passed we also lost him. From that moment on the Alzheimers really set in and although he lived years after her passing, it still feels like I lost both of them at the same time. Now fast forward, I knew Grandma Lila had been in pain recently but I never imagined it would turn out the way it did. I look through emails from the past few months and realize she had been in pain for quite some time. So, my Grandma went into the hospital because she couldn't ambulate anymore and it all just snowballed into one absolutely tragic event that ended up taking the life of my Grandma WAY too early. The reason I explain everything is because I am really finding myself struggling since her passing. Not only do I feel enormous amounts of guilt for not calling her like I had been telling myself to that morning but I should have emailed and called her more often. The guilt pretty much just sits with me every day, I should have been a better granddaughter. The other thing I am not handling well is figuring out what the point of everything is? I know that is a vague question, but it is how I feel. I wanted so much for her to meet Coltan, Dustin, and the girls. She loved to laugh, and I can't even begin to tell you how much she would have adored Coltan (and Dustin, lol). I wanted to share my wedding with her. She was really proud of me for pursuing my nursing degree, and I really wanted to share that with her as well. She was the one I turned to for advice on how to handle 4 kids, working, school, and the chaos that is involved in every day of my life. So, I have been battling lately with trying to convince myself not to give up right now. I keep thinking I want to just give up going to school full time, find an easier job, stop working nights, and just relax and enjoy the time that I should have been devoting to talking with my Grandma. Life goes by too fast, and I cannot get that time with her back and that is a very hard realization. So, when this all hits me I read through her emails where she clearly expresses how proud she is of me and I just tell myself to troop on because she is watching over me and I hope she realizes just how much I really love and miss her.
Now that I have had yet another good cry, I can move on to another topic. Wedding. Boy oh boy, I have totally let that one go over the past few weeks but I can GLADLY share that I have just finished invitations today and they are going out in the mail! YAY! Although I feel nowhere near where I want to be physically to buy a dress, Mom is coming to town next week and we are going SHOPPING! I am mostly excited to just spend time with my Mom and my Sister, I love them dearly and I miss girl-time! Now, to just get Dustin to get fitted for a tux next month and we will be ready to go (lol, don't I wish).
My boys are actually with my parents this week, and as much as I miss them it has been a relief to catch up and even get ahead with homework and housework. Also, spending some quality time with Dustin has been nice too... he just lost a friend last week so it has been nice to just take it easy and let him handle the loss the best way he can. I even went to a movie alone today! I always wanted to but was afraid people would think I am crazy, the only weird part was laughing and because no one else was in the theatre I may have sounded a bit nutty when I kept laughing. Other than that, it was fantastic! Then, I went and bought some rollerblades because I am determined to kick some weight off before this wedding/vacation! I can't wait to go down to the park early in the morning, before the heat and humidity set in, and work my tail off! Hopefully this will help keep my stress levels in check as well, haha.
I think have rambled on enough for now, time to get back to business =). I hope everyone out there is having a really great week and don't forget to take time out to let those close to you know how much you love them! I have included some pictures of my beautiful angel of a Grandmother, I love you and miss you terribly!
(Thanksgiving in Seward)
(When Grandma came to visit us in England... look at poor Teri and her chicken pox!)
(Reunion in 2007... Technically Coltan did meet Grandma, he just so happened to be in utero =] )
Now that I have had yet another good cry, I can move on to another topic. Wedding. Boy oh boy, I have totally let that one go over the past few weeks but I can GLADLY share that I have just finished invitations today and they are going out in the mail! YAY! Although I feel nowhere near where I want to be physically to buy a dress, Mom is coming to town next week and we are going SHOPPING! I am mostly excited to just spend time with my Mom and my Sister, I love them dearly and I miss girl-time! Now, to just get Dustin to get fitted for a tux next month and we will be ready to go (lol, don't I wish).
My boys are actually with my parents this week, and as much as I miss them it has been a relief to catch up and even get ahead with homework and housework. Also, spending some quality time with Dustin has been nice too... he just lost a friend last week so it has been nice to just take it easy and let him handle the loss the best way he can. I even went to a movie alone today! I always wanted to but was afraid people would think I am crazy, the only weird part was laughing and because no one else was in the theatre I may have sounded a bit nutty when I kept laughing. Other than that, it was fantastic! Then, I went and bought some rollerblades because I am determined to kick some weight off before this wedding/vacation! I can't wait to go down to the park early in the morning, before the heat and humidity set in, and work my tail off! Hopefully this will help keep my stress levels in check as well, haha.
I think have rambled on enough for now, time to get back to business =). I hope everyone out there is having a really great week and don't forget to take time out to let those close to you know how much you love them! I have included some pictures of my beautiful angel of a Grandmother, I love you and miss you terribly!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Day 1
I am sitting here knowing I have to go to work in a mere 4 hours, and have not slept.... but I am considering doing some Zumba. I have to start somewhere - right? I figure if I work out for a half hour, I get day 1 under my belt, and hopefully I can nap when we get back from picking up Teri.
How does that sound? Ok... I am going to give this a shot!
(5 hours later)
Yes, so thankfully my post was saved because I totally forgot about this. I was running around like a mad woman trying to find any wii remote so I could Zumba. I checked high and low, and Coltan showed me where one was hidden under the living room couch. Thanks, what a little turkey =). Anyway, I am proudly say that I did complete one Zumba session. It kicked my butt. I looked like a spastic geek. I loved every minute. I felt WONDERFUL after (and still do, even though I have now only had 3 hours of sleep).
I am sure fatigue will catch up with me in a few hours, but I have a feeling tonight will fly by because the floor is packed and I am the only PCA on tonight. Good times.
Ok, so back to the zumba. It really is so much fun, maybe in time I will get some rhythm along with getting in shape (haha). I ate a fiber one bar, because I am all about eating lots of fiber (not only for dietary reasons, but colon cancer really scares me). I am about to eat a chicken/spinach/artichoke lean pocket, and later will have some broccoli and rice. Oh! I also brought a banana!
My family (Dustin, Mom, Dad, and myself) resumed our biggest loser contest. We are going to do smaller increments, like 2 week periods, and have a mini winner each week. One of my problems is when I have a bad week, or bad day even, I feel like I have ruined all my hard work and give up. I am hoping that by starting fresh every 2 weeks will give us all the opportunity to stay on track. Besides, I want to look great in that wedding dress in a few months.
Speaking of ... wedding. It is LESS THAN 4 months away! I don't even know how time has flown by, but that is what has seriously motivated me to work out even when I am exhausted, and not to eat crappy even when I am starved and exhausted, haha.
That is just about it from my world, I can't wait to get Cory back this weekend. I miss him like crazy when he goes to his Dad's house, especially those sweet hugs and a little voice calling out for "Mama." What a little doll.
How does that sound? Ok... I am going to give this a shot!
(5 hours later)
Yes, so thankfully my post was saved because I totally forgot about this. I was running around like a mad woman trying to find any wii remote so I could Zumba. I checked high and low, and Coltan showed me where one was hidden under the living room couch. Thanks, what a little turkey =). Anyway, I am proudly say that I did complete one Zumba session. It kicked my butt. I looked like a spastic geek. I loved every minute. I felt WONDERFUL after (and still do, even though I have now only had 3 hours of sleep).
I am sure fatigue will catch up with me in a few hours, but I have a feeling tonight will fly by because the floor is packed and I am the only PCA on tonight. Good times.
Ok, so back to the zumba. It really is so much fun, maybe in time I will get some rhythm along with getting in shape (haha). I ate a fiber one bar, because I am all about eating lots of fiber (not only for dietary reasons, but colon cancer really scares me). I am about to eat a chicken/spinach/artichoke lean pocket, and later will have some broccoli and rice. Oh! I also brought a banana!
My family (Dustin, Mom, Dad, and myself) resumed our biggest loser contest. We are going to do smaller increments, like 2 week periods, and have a mini winner each week. One of my problems is when I have a bad week, or bad day even, I feel like I have ruined all my hard work and give up. I am hoping that by starting fresh every 2 weeks will give us all the opportunity to stay on track. Besides, I want to look great in that wedding dress in a few months.
Speaking of ... wedding. It is LESS THAN 4 months away! I don't even know how time has flown by, but that is what has seriously motivated me to work out even when I am exhausted, and not to eat crappy even when I am starved and exhausted, haha.
That is just about it from my world, I can't wait to get Cory back this weekend. I miss him like crazy when he goes to his Dad's house, especially those sweet hugs and a little voice calling out for "Mama." What a little doll.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I am actually watching the View.
I know, it is terrible. I am too busy doing homework, looking at wedding dresses, and thinking about my endless to-do's to even get up and find the remote. I really can't stand this show.
So, Dustin is back home and it has been so nice spending some quality time with him. Tonight I have to begin my 4 night streak of working so I will not get to see him, and that just stinks. Dustin is at the grocery store now, which is really exciting because 1) I did not have to go and 2) This means eating healthy begins today, and Dustin and I can resume our getting healthy for wedding/Florida plans!
I also have more plans to keep me on top of my game, and those include putting up post-it notes everywhere to remind myself of things I should do. I have been a to-do list maker for so long, but I don't always have it with me whereas if I just put up post it notes in various places it will help to keep me on top of my game. Second, I am going to see if we can fix the Wii today. Coltan put 2 games in it months ago, one of which was my Zumba.
Just to confirm my attention deficit, I am going to have to finish this post later... I am now consumed with trying to fix the Wii. Hope everyone is enjoying this lovely Thursday!
ETA: The Wii is fixed! We were wrong this whole time, it was not 2 games shoved in there. That little turkey had put a penny in there! I guess he was confused and thought it was a slot machine? haha.
Yay, so tomorrow I can officially begin my Zumba, pilates, and my journey to my ideal wedding dress body (and beach body for Florida). YAY!
ETA: The Wii is fixed! We were wrong this whole time, it was not 2 games shoved in there. That little turkey had put a penny in there! I guess he was confused and thought it was a slot machine? haha.
Yay, so tomorrow I can officially begin my Zumba, pilates, and my journey to my ideal wedding dress body (and beach body for Florida). YAY!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I almost forgot about you =P
Seriously... I really almost forgot I even had a blog.
So, since I have failed on so many levels on keeping up with my blog AND adhering to any type of diet whatsoever, I need to recommit.
This is my vow to you, blog-o-sphere, I will resume with my strict diet and exercise plan. I will get in shape before my big day... which is ONLY 129 days away! CRAP! 129 days, EEK!
I will eat 4 small meals a day, high in protein, low in carbs and fat. I will eat tons of veggies and fruit. I will exercise at least 4 times each week, especially on days I do not work. I will stop stress eating (dang you school)! I will take the boys out more often to get my butt out as well. Wine will only be allowed once or twice a week, I will miss you my most favorite carb of all! I will pack my lunch/dinner therefore stopping me from eating Wendys. Ok... I think that is it. I feel like if I stick by these rules I will feel much better in no time!
Ok, all of that boring stuff aside... life is grand. Too busy to appreciate it, but fun none the less. I am wrapping up this semester of school and only have 1 year left! I am most excited because I am about to start my hospital clinicals and from here on out I only have 1 class each semester, because all of my gen-ed requirements are FINISHED! Even when I go to get my BSN I already have all my gen-eds done, so that will just be an online class to finish up my BSN. Then, I plan to go right into getting my Masters so I an be a Nurse Practitioner... but who knows exactly what that entails. Anyway, back to the present... yesterday was exciting because my Clinical instructor not only called me her star student (cheesy but I totally loved it) but I gave an IM shot, gave meds through a PEG, and did a bunch of other shots. The only thing I did not get to do yet that has me a little nervous is inserting a foley, I am sure I will get that experience very soon though.
The kids are fantastic. Summer break just started so they are just enjoying the freedom of not having a strict bed time, and now they can have water fights until 9:00 pm on a Sunday =).
Well, it has been a long night and I feel like it is time to finish up here at work and then head home. My lovely fiance has vacation the rest of this week, so I get to go home and sleep!
So, since I have failed on so many levels on keeping up with my blog AND adhering to any type of diet whatsoever, I need to recommit.
This is my vow to you, blog-o-sphere, I will resume with my strict diet and exercise plan. I will get in shape before my big day... which is ONLY 129 days away! CRAP! 129 days, EEK!
I will eat 4 small meals a day, high in protein, low in carbs and fat. I will eat tons of veggies and fruit. I will exercise at least 4 times each week, especially on days I do not work. I will stop stress eating (dang you school)! I will take the boys out more often to get my butt out as well. Wine will only be allowed once or twice a week, I will miss you my most favorite carb of all! I will pack my lunch/dinner therefore stopping me from eating Wendys. Ok... I think that is it. I feel like if I stick by these rules I will feel much better in no time!
Ok, all of that boring stuff aside... life is grand. Too busy to appreciate it, but fun none the less. I am wrapping up this semester of school and only have 1 year left! I am most excited because I am about to start my hospital clinicals and from here on out I only have 1 class each semester, because all of my gen-ed requirements are FINISHED! Even when I go to get my BSN I already have all my gen-eds done, so that will just be an online class to finish up my BSN. Then, I plan to go right into getting my Masters so I an be a Nurse Practitioner... but who knows exactly what that entails. Anyway, back to the present... yesterday was exciting because my Clinical instructor not only called me her star student (cheesy but I totally loved it) but I gave an IM shot, gave meds through a PEG, and did a bunch of other shots. The only thing I did not get to do yet that has me a little nervous is inserting a foley, I am sure I will get that experience very soon though.
The kids are fantastic. Summer break just started so they are just enjoying the freedom of not having a strict bed time, and now they can have water fights until 9:00 pm on a Sunday =).
Well, it has been a long night and I feel like it is time to finish up here at work and then head home. My lovely fiance has vacation the rest of this week, so I get to go home and sleep!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
A new beginning!
Ok, so... it is no secret I have gained some weight the past few years, at least since I had Coltan. I even took a new job (here at the hospital) partly because I was tired of sitting on my butt at the hotel, I wanted to be more active and figured if I can't make time to exercise then I will make exercise part of my work. Well... I still have seen no changes so i decided to take it upon myself and have my IUD taken out. For those of you that aren't familiar with that, that is a form of birth control that is actually inserted into my body and releases small amount of hormones that way. Truth is, for the past few years I have had a lot of health issues I have never had before. Obviously my heart has been nutty the past 2 years, I have been really sensitive to my blood glucose levels, and weight gain.... so I decided to just have it taken out and to go hormone free for awhile. I know it is probably all in my head but I feel much better already, I feel more relaxed. I have read hundreds of posts by women who have had similar problems while on the Mirena, so out it goes! So, that is new beginning #1.
At work there are a few ladies that are trying the "Sacred Heart Medical Diet" and after talking with them I figured I would give it a shot. It is definitely a fad diet and you can't actually make this your official lifestyle, but I figured it is worth a shot for a few weeks to see how much weight I can drop. Basically it based on eating soup. The soup consists of mostly veggies (carrots, tomatoes, celery, green beans, bell pepper, and onions) and a little broth. So, each day is slightly different but I can eat as much soup as I want. For example, day 1 (today) I can eat as much fruit and soup as I would like. Day 2, I can eat as many veggies and soup as I would like and at dinner I can have a baked potato. Anyway, it goes on and on for 7 days and slowly introducing protein into the diet. A coworker of mine lost 11 pounds in a week and she said she even cheated a wee little bit, so I am really hoping to see some weight loss! I know this isn't a permanent change at all, but I am hoping it does what it says it does and helps to cleanse my body of impurities. Besides, i really love the spicy soup I made! So, that is new beginning #2.
Well, I think that is basically it (haha). I have been so busy with school the past few weeks, and just began what will be the busiest semester of this program. I have 3 classes (Microbiology/Organic Chem, Med/Surg Nursing, and Pharmacology) and a 8 hour clinical every Saturday.... so more than likely I will not be able to blog like I would like to, but I will try!
The kids are great, loving every minute with them. I cannot wait for a year to pass so I can work a different schedule and spend every spare moment with them!
At work there are a few ladies that are trying the "Sacred Heart Medical Diet" and after talking with them I figured I would give it a shot. It is definitely a fad diet and you can't actually make this your official lifestyle, but I figured it is worth a shot for a few weeks to see how much weight I can drop. Basically it based on eating soup. The soup consists of mostly veggies (carrots, tomatoes, celery, green beans, bell pepper, and onions) and a little broth. So, each day is slightly different but I can eat as much soup as I want. For example, day 1 (today) I can eat as much fruit and soup as I would like. Day 2, I can eat as many veggies and soup as I would like and at dinner I can have a baked potato. Anyway, it goes on and on for 7 days and slowly introducing protein into the diet. A coworker of mine lost 11 pounds in a week and she said she even cheated a wee little bit, so I am really hoping to see some weight loss! I know this isn't a permanent change at all, but I am hoping it does what it says it does and helps to cleanse my body of impurities. Besides, i really love the spicy soup I made! So, that is new beginning #2.
Well, I think that is basically it (haha). I have been so busy with school the past few weeks, and just began what will be the busiest semester of this program. I have 3 classes (Microbiology/Organic Chem, Med/Surg Nursing, and Pharmacology) and a 8 hour clinical every Saturday.... so more than likely I will not be able to blog like I would like to, but I will try!
The kids are great, loving every minute with them. I cannot wait for a year to pass so I can work a different schedule and spend every spare moment with them!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
February kinda stinks.
Yes, that is my conclusion for this month so far. It has just been one big pile of stress that has manifested itself as a 2 week long headache and stomach ache, haha. I am just so ready for this semester to be over in a few weeks. Then I begin clinicals, and I am just hoping that those are a little easier then this class has been. I am not quite sure what classes I am taking next semester, but lets just pray it is a little easier on the schedule.
So I am totally OFF of the working out wagon. Coltan was "experimenting" with the Wii and decided to shove my Zumba game and another one in there together... so they have been stuck in there together because there is no way I am going to try and fix it. I am hoping Dustin can successfully get them out without my brand new game getting ruined, oh I really hope so. This is just the beginning of the things Coltan has done lately. I won't even go into the fact he covered a couch in toothpaste and put toys/DVD/tool box into the (empty) fish tank. Thank God he is so cute, because he might drive me nuts if that weren't the case, haha.
I have found that my children play opposites... when one is acting up and causing trouble, the other one will be super sweet. That is definitely how this week has been, Coltan has been a super adorable little monster and Cory has been my sweet little angel full of hugs and cuddles. LOVE IT! I was napping on the couch and I woke up and Cory had put a note in an envelope, and placed it on my chest. When I opened it, it read:
'I <3 YOU MOM"
Awwwww.... He must be the sweetest little 6 year old to ever live, I swear.
I was a little disappointed to find out Rock on the Range's lineup for this year, on the other hand I was ELATED to hear that Glee will be in Cleveland in June!! AWESOME!
Potty training with Coltan is still a big mess. I found an article by Dr. Phil that explains how to potty train in a day, so we are going to give that a shot this weekend and just PRAY it works. This child must be potty trained soon, haha.
Well, that is about it... I am at work and have a ton to study for before class today. Hope you all are doing well, taking it easy, and keeping warm!
So I am totally OFF of the working out wagon. Coltan was "experimenting" with the Wii and decided to shove my Zumba game and another one in there together... so they have been stuck in there together because there is no way I am going to try and fix it. I am hoping Dustin can successfully get them out without my brand new game getting ruined, oh I really hope so. This is just the beginning of the things Coltan has done lately. I won't even go into the fact he covered a couch in toothpaste and put toys/DVD/tool box into the (empty) fish tank. Thank God he is so cute, because he might drive me nuts if that weren't the case, haha.
I have found that my children play opposites... when one is acting up and causing trouble, the other one will be super sweet. That is definitely how this week has been, Coltan has been a super adorable little monster and Cory has been my sweet little angel full of hugs and cuddles. LOVE IT! I was napping on the couch and I woke up and Cory had put a note in an envelope, and placed it on my chest. When I opened it, it read:
'I <3 YOU MOM"
Awwwww.... He must be the sweetest little 6 year old to ever live, I swear.
I was a little disappointed to find out Rock on the Range's lineup for this year, on the other hand I was ELATED to hear that Glee will be in Cleveland in June!! AWESOME!
Potty training with Coltan is still a big mess. I found an article by Dr. Phil that explains how to potty train in a day, so we are going to give that a shot this weekend and just PRAY it works. This child must be potty trained soon, haha.
Well, that is about it... I am at work and have a ton to study for before class today. Hope you all are doing well, taking it easy, and keeping warm!
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Ice Ice Baby
Yes... that is the song my dear Cory sang to me as we got out of the car yesterday. This weather is just nuts! I won't lie though, I wanted that blizzard that Chicago is getting right now. I would really love like 2 feet of snow... well, only if I was already at home haha. I do not want to get stuck at work, but who does.
As most everyone on facebook knows I spent the past few days being sick which just sucks, but thankfully I am on the mend. I don't know what happened in my body but now whenever I get sick it seems it drops to my chest and then I have some type of asthmatic response, weird I know... especially because I am not an asthmatic.
Working out has basically been non-existent, but we all knew this was my problem from the get-go. Then to top off the fact I was sucking at it, I got sick. So, I am feeling tons better so I hope to resume operation-healthify-my-life. I do believe I just made up at that word, healthify.
You know what else I miss doing? The ZOO! I freaking miss the zoo, it really needs to warm up so I can take the kids. Since I haven't been going to the zoo I have been filling my time with work, school, kids... and DISNEY! Yes, I have been obsessing over everything Disney for the past few weeks. I am just over the moon excited about going this November, to have ALL the kids able to really experience Disney is a dream come true of mine. To those of you who haven't taken your kids to Disney (or they aren't old enough yet), you just have to do it! The experience you will have with your kids is like no other, and nothing I have found compares to it. I have been going on many Disney websites and forums and I have learned so much. We are going to be like pros come November, the kids are just going to freak out. AHHH!!! I cannot wait! I have been debating becoming a Disney travel agent when i am done with school. How much fun would that be to help plan other's happiest vacations ever! I am pretty sure if Disney could just take control of the world we would have world peace.
So, potty training (with Coltan) is just not happening. I am pretty sure he would be totally fine being a 10 year old and peeing in his pants. It drives me nuts but the Dr. said "If a child makes it to 3 and not potty trained, it really is just a battle of wills." Basically, I have to be patient and try to reward the heck out of him... but Coltan is too smart for this. We have tried stickers, total excitement and ego-boosting when he goes, and M&Ms... and we are still struggling. Does anyone have any tricks? I am desperate. He must be potty trained before he turns 4! hahaha.
So, that is about it... We finally had a decent night at work so I was able to compose a bit of an update. Hop everyone is well, keeping warm, and staying safe this winter!
As most everyone on facebook knows I spent the past few days being sick which just sucks, but thankfully I am on the mend. I don't know what happened in my body but now whenever I get sick it seems it drops to my chest and then I have some type of asthmatic response, weird I know... especially because I am not an asthmatic.
Working out has basically been non-existent, but we all knew this was my problem from the get-go. Then to top off the fact I was sucking at it, I got sick. So, I am feeling tons better so I hope to resume operation-healthify-my-life. I do believe I just made up at that word, healthify.
You know what else I miss doing? The ZOO! I freaking miss the zoo, it really needs to warm up so I can take the kids. Since I haven't been going to the zoo I have been filling my time with work, school, kids... and DISNEY! Yes, I have been obsessing over everything Disney for the past few weeks. I am just over the moon excited about going this November, to have ALL the kids able to really experience Disney is a dream come true of mine. To those of you who haven't taken your kids to Disney (or they aren't old enough yet), you just have to do it! The experience you will have with your kids is like no other, and nothing I have found compares to it. I have been going on many Disney websites and forums and I have learned so much. We are going to be like pros come November, the kids are just going to freak out. AHHH!!! I cannot wait! I have been debating becoming a Disney travel agent when i am done with school. How much fun would that be to help plan other's happiest vacations ever! I am pretty sure if Disney could just take control of the world we would have world peace.
So, potty training (with Coltan) is just not happening. I am pretty sure he would be totally fine being a 10 year old and peeing in his pants. It drives me nuts but the Dr. said "If a child makes it to 3 and not potty trained, it really is just a battle of wills." Basically, I have to be patient and try to reward the heck out of him... but Coltan is too smart for this. We have tried stickers, total excitement and ego-boosting when he goes, and M&Ms... and we are still struggling. Does anyone have any tricks? I am desperate. He must be potty trained before he turns 4! hahaha.
So, that is about it... We finally had a decent night at work so I was able to compose a bit of an update. Hop everyone is well, keeping warm, and staying safe this winter!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I hate non-New Years Resolutions.
So, I suck. I didn't work out yesterday or today. This is exactly what I am talking about. Sunday night I only had about 3-4 hours of sleep but forced myself to work out Monday and not nap. Then Monday night I worked from 7p-7a, so when I got home Tuesday I was beyond exhausted. So, I rested and was able to nap during Coltan's nap from 12:30-3:00, thank the heavens. After Coltan's nap though I had to rush to school, leaving by 4:00 and then right after school I went to work until 7am Wednesday morning. So that brings us to today... I get home and I am pretty darn tired so I rest and then sleep again during Coltan's nap from 12:30 - 3:00 and go to school for an open lab to practice and now I am home by 7p but have homework and studying out the wazoo.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Zumba!
Alright folks, I did my first Zumba session today. It was highly embarrassing, even though I was only in front of my little 3 year old who found it extremely entertaining. It felt FANTASTIC to workout, I have been putting it off for far too long. I do not feel sore or anything which is a bummer because I actually do like that, it reminds me that I put in a hard workout. That is ok because I am going to start strength training too and we know that will definitely do it! I really hope this zumba stuff also helps me learn to dance, that would conquer 2 of my non-new year's resolutions. So today begins my 30 day adventure of forcing myself to workout once a day for 30 days straight.
Anyone out there doing Dr. Oz's 11 week challenge? I had forgotten about it so I am getting into the groove of logging food and everything. So far I love it, it seems so well put together and fast! One thing I cannot stand are those slow websites that take forever to log 1 meal. I think I am going to give this program 2 months and see how my progress is going, then we will reevaluate and if needed try a different route. I am REALLY hoping this way works though, I would love to see some progress soon.
So, I had one of those weekends that was not only necessary to restore my sanity but puts life into perspective. I am truly blessed to have Dustin in my life. It is so nice to have time to relax and enjoy each others company and to remember the "oh yeah, I forgot how much I love spending time with you." and "now I remember why we are where we are" haha. Love him to pieces.
Maybe I will be able to post later but it appears work is going to be outrageous so I doubt I will have time. Here is to hoping the patients sleep the night away. Hope everyone else has a wonderful night!
Anyone out there doing Dr. Oz's 11 week challenge? I had forgotten about it so I am getting into the groove of logging food and everything. So far I love it, it seems so well put together and fast! One thing I cannot stand are those slow websites that take forever to log 1 meal. I think I am going to give this program 2 months and see how my progress is going, then we will reevaluate and if needed try a different route. I am REALLY hoping this way works though, I would love to see some progress soon.
So, I had one of those weekends that was not only necessary to restore my sanity but puts life into perspective. I am truly blessed to have Dustin in my life. It is so nice to have time to relax and enjoy each others company and to remember the "oh yeah, I forgot how much I love spending time with you." and "now I remember why we are where we are" haha. Love him to pieces.
Maybe I will be able to post later but it appears work is going to be outrageous so I doubt I will have time. Here is to hoping the patients sleep the night away. Hope everyone else has a wonderful night!
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Just another day in paradise.
Last night was the most difficult night at work I could have ever imagined. It wasn't disastrous but it was the busiest 13 hours I could have ever imagined. At the beginning of the night I felt like going into the breakroom and just crying. When I was told I had another admission coming, I really felt like hiding and shedding a few tears. Instead I realized this is all a learning experience and with each difficult night I learn a lot about myself and Nursing. I always want to be good at what I do, I usually don't do something unless I know I will be good at it. So, rather then dwelling on how difficult it was I just turned the cheek and smiled. I kept a cool mind and although it was exhausting, I still never felt completely overwhelmed. Working as a PCA was a step outside of my norm because I had no history working in a Hospital and no medical background, but I am so happy say that I love it. I love learning something new every night. I love working with people that share, for the most part, the same interests. I do miss my friends from the hotel, but I haven't really seen them since leaving the hotel. I really miss those friendships - but I do wonder if they were actually friendships or was it because I was a Manager? Who knows. Only time will tell but I do have hope!
So, speaking of last night. I almost gave in and had to get some Wendy's last night, but thankfully I didn't even have time to sit down and enjoy a meal (haha). I left home late so I couldn't stop and grab a sandwich, so I just ate an apple and some peanut butter at work.... Wendy's was very tempting though. So, day 3 I am happy to say I am ok at eating right. Working nights makes it very difficult for me to figure out what I am supposed to eat and when. Do I eat when I get home in the morning? Usually I haven't had time to eat a full meal so I am starving, but I know I shouldn't eat 2-3 hours before going to bed. Do I eat "breakfast" as soon as I get up in the afternoon? That is if I am able to sleep in the morning, sometimes I don't sleep until afternoon. Sometimes I just don't sleep. It is all so confusing, but I hope to figure it out!
The kids are great, we are all so excited for Disney. Cory and I are going to work on a big calendar to countdown the days, also a great way to countdown my goals! Tonight Cory and Chloe decided to use Cory's new easy bake oven to make Dustin a surprise brownie because they felt bad that they didn't clean the house, hahaha. They are so cute. The funniest part of the story is they destroyed the kitchen making this little brownie, therefore creating a bigger mess haha. Hmmm... what else? Nothing really, Dustin is wonderful. He is so cute, I wish I had taken a picture of it but it snowed a little bit this past Thursday and when I got home from school I saw that Dustin had written my name in like 15 foot block letters on the street. What a supercute goofball, haha. Sometimes I get too serious about life and he reminds me to take a step back and just enjoy it and to laugh more.
Ok, well I better get back to work.... Thank the heavens tonight is nothing like last night.
Hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend!
So, speaking of last night. I almost gave in and had to get some Wendy's last night, but thankfully I didn't even have time to sit down and enjoy a meal (haha). I left home late so I couldn't stop and grab a sandwich, so I just ate an apple and some peanut butter at work.... Wendy's was very tempting though. So, day 3 I am happy to say I am ok at eating right. Working nights makes it very difficult for me to figure out what I am supposed to eat and when. Do I eat when I get home in the morning? Usually I haven't had time to eat a full meal so I am starving, but I know I shouldn't eat 2-3 hours before going to bed. Do I eat "breakfast" as soon as I get up in the afternoon? That is if I am able to sleep in the morning, sometimes I don't sleep until afternoon. Sometimes I just don't sleep. It is all so confusing, but I hope to figure it out!
The kids are great, we are all so excited for Disney. Cory and I are going to work on a big calendar to countdown the days, also a great way to countdown my goals! Tonight Cory and Chloe decided to use Cory's new easy bake oven to make Dustin a surprise brownie because they felt bad that they didn't clean the house, hahaha. They are so cute. The funniest part of the story is they destroyed the kitchen making this little brownie, therefore creating a bigger mess haha. Hmmm... what else? Nothing really, Dustin is wonderful. He is so cute, I wish I had taken a picture of it but it snowed a little bit this past Thursday and when I got home from school I saw that Dustin had written my name in like 15 foot block letters on the street. What a supercute goofball, haha. Sometimes I get too serious about life and he reminds me to take a step back and just enjoy it and to laugh more.
Ok, well I better get back to work.... Thank the heavens tonight is nothing like last night.
Hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Today is the day!
Today is the big day!
Ok, so yes I am a little excited. Today I begin my journey. I have Zumba… and I am just ready to eat right and get in shape! Mostly I am excited to look amazing on my wedding day and learn to dance. I have no rhythm, so I am hoping Zumba can help fix that!
Right now I think my inspiration to get in shape will be my Mom and Dad… they have been working on getting in shape for the past few months and have done such a good job. I am so thankful for such amazing parents that continue to show me the right path. Who would have thought at 27 they would STILL be doing that, haha.
I am back in school as of this week, so that will be interesting. Luckily I only have class Tues/Thurs from 5-7, so it won’t really impact my sleeping schedule and life as much. Last semester the classes being midday really messed with my sleep schedule and I wasn’t able to adapt, but I have some plans this semester to make it better. Only a year left and then I will finally be an RN, but just the sounds of “a year” is so intimidating to me. Then I just remind myself… a year ago today I was unhappy working at the hotel. I disliked my job, it stressed me out, and I had the worst boss ever. A year ago I could never leave work at work, because work always followed me home. A year ago I had just decided I wanted to pursue Nursing and not Nuclear Medicine. Although it feels like yesterday, today I work with a great group of people and although my job challenges me (which I LOVE) it keeps me busy, and to top it off I learn something new everyday. Not to mention I am giving back, even though it may be just a little - I get to be there for people, and I love it so much.
So, today is a beginning… and that is yet another thing that I love.
Ok, so yes I am a little excited. Today I begin my journey. I have Zumba… and I am just ready to eat right and get in shape! Mostly I am excited to look amazing on my wedding day and learn to dance. I have no rhythm, so I am hoping Zumba can help fix that!
Right now I think my inspiration to get in shape will be my Mom and Dad… they have been working on getting in shape for the past few months and have done such a good job. I am so thankful for such amazing parents that continue to show me the right path. Who would have thought at 27 they would STILL be doing that, haha.
I am back in school as of this week, so that will be interesting. Luckily I only have class Tues/Thurs from 5-7, so it won’t really impact my sleeping schedule and life as much. Last semester the classes being midday really messed with my sleep schedule and I wasn’t able to adapt, but I have some plans this semester to make it better. Only a year left and then I will finally be an RN, but just the sounds of “a year” is so intimidating to me. Then I just remind myself… a year ago today I was unhappy working at the hotel. I disliked my job, it stressed me out, and I had the worst boss ever. A year ago I could never leave work at work, because work always followed me home. A year ago I had just decided I wanted to pursue Nursing and not Nuclear Medicine. Although it feels like yesterday, today I work with a great group of people and although my job challenges me (which I LOVE) it keeps me busy, and to top it off I learn something new everyday. Not to mention I am giving back, even though it may be just a little - I get to be there for people, and I love it so much.
So, today is a beginning… and that is yet another thing that I love.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
'Tis the Season
'Tis the season for the overly ambitious New Years resolutions.
I have never been a fan of New Years resolutions, therefore I have rarely even made one. Sure, as the clock strikes 12:00 on New Years I may think of something - but the truth is I know that making a New Years resolution just to make one will not work for me.
You know what does work for me? What does motivate me to make a lifestyle change? Wedding dresses, knowing pictures will be taken of me, and going to Florida. That works... big time. So, it is time for a lifestyle change. Not because it is a new year but because I only have 10 months until I am getting married and then to Disney.
So, here are my goals.
1) I am running my life like a bootcamp for the next 30 days. I was reading a friend's magnificent blog about all of these amazing things she would like to accomplish before she turns 30 and one really stuck out with me. She wants to do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred for a full 30 days. If Jillian didn't make me want to cry I might consider using this, but instead my goal is to just work out every day for the next 30 days. My thoughts behind this are that if I force myself to work out every day for 30 days then I will know I can do it, and in the future I will not be able to make excuses like "Ugh, last night was so busy at work and my legs already feel like mush." Nope. If that is the case then maybe instead of cardio I will do some pilates or yoga.
2) No more fast food, this basically means the Wendys, McDonalds, and other typical fast food places. At work, if I do not bring my dinner, I have one option. Wendys. This has got to stop, I need to force myself to cook more or at least PACK more. If I have to eat out I will stop at Subway or something on my way in. No more french fries. This, I hope, will be a more permanent goal... not a short term 30 day.
3) Complete Dr. Oz's 11 week challenge for 2011. I never watch Dr. Oz but I was flipping by today and this caught my eye. It begins today (January 4) so he will release all of the details later today, but I am excited. I love programs and new ideas, I always find motivation in new programs. Dr. Oz has this list of 10 steps to a healthier life, and whether or not these are included in the 11 week program, I am making it part of my lifestyle change. I consider these my mini-goals:
*Eat Breakfast
*Have a complete physical done once a year.
*Never go hungry, be sure to eat healthy snacks.
*Get creative and active - find new ways to be active, like taking the steps or parking farther away.
*Recipe reinvention - healthify your comfort foods.
*Find a weight loss buddy (Because he is the best fiance ever, I have volunteered on Dustin's behalf. Not like he needs to, but I know he can't stand to lose a competition so he will keep me motivated. Love you =])
*Do a sponsored run/walk
*Set a Best-sleep schedule
**No caffeine 4-6 hours before bed
**No full meals 2-3 hours before bed
**60 minutes before bed, turn down lights to release melatonin.
**30 minutes before bed, have a drink of water.
**5 minutes before bed, make room completely dark and cool.
*Eat seasonal foods
*Commit to 10,000 steps a day
4) Take/Do a fun dance/cardio class... either at the gym or at home. I would love to zumba, but I will settle for just learning to dance in general.
5) For the past few years I have (basically) been a vegetarian. I have been struggling a lot, working in the hospital and keeping my energy up on a vegetarian diet. So, I am going to reintroduce chicken into my diet. I will still try my best to support the reason I turned vegetarian to begin with. Animals deserve quality of life, and therefore the product I buy will have to not have been fed hormones and must be given adequate space and living conditions.
I will be posting an update post next since it has been so long since I have posted, but I just had to get my goals out there. I want to live a LONG and healthy life, and I want to look breath taking on my wedding day.
So, that is about it. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and their new year is full of love and happiness!
I am so excited to read all about this 11 week plan later today!
I have never been a fan of New Years resolutions, therefore I have rarely even made one. Sure, as the clock strikes 12:00 on New Years I may think of something - but the truth is I know that making a New Years resolution just to make one will not work for me.
You know what does work for me? What does motivate me to make a lifestyle change? Wedding dresses, knowing pictures will be taken of me, and going to Florida. That works... big time. So, it is time for a lifestyle change. Not because it is a new year but because I only have 10 months until I am getting married and then to Disney.
So, here are my goals.
1) I am running my life like a bootcamp for the next 30 days. I was reading a friend's magnificent blog about all of these amazing things she would like to accomplish before she turns 30 and one really stuck out with me. She wants to do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred for a full 30 days. If Jillian didn't make me want to cry I might consider using this, but instead my goal is to just work out every day for the next 30 days. My thoughts behind this are that if I force myself to work out every day for 30 days then I will know I can do it, and in the future I will not be able to make excuses like "Ugh, last night was so busy at work and my legs already feel like mush." Nope. If that is the case then maybe instead of cardio I will do some pilates or yoga.
2) No more fast food, this basically means the Wendys, McDonalds, and other typical fast food places. At work, if I do not bring my dinner, I have one option. Wendys. This has got to stop, I need to force myself to cook more or at least PACK more. If I have to eat out I will stop at Subway or something on my way in. No more french fries. This, I hope, will be a more permanent goal... not a short term 30 day.
3) Complete Dr. Oz's 11 week challenge for 2011. I never watch Dr. Oz but I was flipping by today and this caught my eye. It begins today (January 4) so he will release all of the details later today, but I am excited. I love programs and new ideas, I always find motivation in new programs. Dr. Oz has this list of 10 steps to a healthier life, and whether or not these are included in the 11 week program, I am making it part of my lifestyle change. I consider these my mini-goals:
*Eat Breakfast
*Have a complete physical done once a year.
*Never go hungry, be sure to eat healthy snacks.
*Get creative and active - find new ways to be active, like taking the steps or parking farther away.
*Recipe reinvention - healthify your comfort foods.
*Find a weight loss buddy (Because he is the best fiance ever, I have volunteered on Dustin's behalf. Not like he needs to, but I know he can't stand to lose a competition so he will keep me motivated. Love you =])
*Do a sponsored run/walk
*Set a Best-sleep schedule
**No caffeine 4-6 hours before bed
**No full meals 2-3 hours before bed
**60 minutes before bed, turn down lights to release melatonin.
**30 minutes before bed, have a drink of water.
**5 minutes before bed, make room completely dark and cool.
*Eat seasonal foods
*Commit to 10,000 steps a day
4) Take/Do a fun dance/cardio class... either at the gym or at home. I would love to zumba, but I will settle for just learning to dance in general.
5) For the past few years I have (basically) been a vegetarian. I have been struggling a lot, working in the hospital and keeping my energy up on a vegetarian diet. So, I am going to reintroduce chicken into my diet. I will still try my best to support the reason I turned vegetarian to begin with. Animals deserve quality of life, and therefore the product I buy will have to not have been fed hormones and must be given adequate space and living conditions.
I will be posting an update post next since it has been so long since I have posted, but I just had to get my goals out there. I want to live a LONG and healthy life, and I want to look breath taking on my wedding day.
So, that is about it. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday and their new year is full of love and happiness!
I am so excited to read all about this 11 week plan later today!
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