Have to keep a happy face...

I never thought the day would come when my sister and I would not be close.  I knew our priorities were going in different directions, but I always figured we would have each other to keep us grounded, together, and bonded.  I was wrong.  It still stings, pretty bad, so I won't go into detail but the day did come.  My sister and I are no longer on talking terms... it is a rough situation. 


2 weeks before my wedding and I am short my entire bridal party (totally awesome, hah)!  I always told myself I didn't need 15 people standing up there with me because I would have my sister.  Now I don't have a bridal party, a Maid of Honor, or anyone to stand up with me.


Not only is this situation causing me great sadness and sorrow, but we can add embarrassment on top of everything.  Who on earth bails from an event that means so much to a "loved" one?  I say "loved" because there is no way you can love someone and honestly do this to them.

Everyone keeps asking how the wedding plans are coming along, and the truth is they are about finished... except now I am starting from scratch and need to find someone to stand up there with me and can fit into the darn dress we bought.  My mother has been my best friend for so long... but she already has so many roles that day.  UGH... unnecessary stress, for sure.  This stupid stress is leading me to not get any stupid sleep which is putting me in a pretty stupid bad mood.  Just stupid stuff!

On a better note, Dustin's sister (in-law) threw us a lovely prenuptial party and I had a really great time.  I was nervous that none of my family would be there, but they are soon going to be my family so it was really nice getting some time alone to get to know them even more.  I cannot wait for the wedding to have both families come together, it will be so much fun!

Now I just have to make it through tonight and 5 more days of work, and then I am out of work for 2 weeks... OMGosh, I cannot wait.  I SERIOUSLY need a break from reality, my mind can barely take it!