Relationships and Love.

I have been feeling full of love and butterflies lately so I decided I would share my thoughts on longterm relationships.

Growing up I always watched fairytales and thought that Prince Charming would just show up, sweep me off my feet, and we would ride away to live happily ever after.  Then, as I came into High School, I kept hearing adults say how much "work" a relationship was to maintain.  I thought these people were nuts, there was no way true love would take actual work.  Out of high school I had my first grown-up relationship and that failed miserably, and not for lack of trying but just because we were too different.  My whole world was flipped upside down when I moved to Ohio and I had no intention of meeting anyone anytime soon, but of course when you least expect it is when it happens.  Dustin sort of broke all of my rules and it didn't really matter because something felt so right with him.  We moved forward, we had some unexpected things happen *Coltan* and that was really hard for me to handle considering my past.  I gave Dustin some very hard times while I was pregnant, but not out of spite but because I was trying to figure everything out as well.  Anyway, he stuck around and fast forward 4 years later and here we are.  Relationships do take some work, but nothing that I would ever complain about.  Relationships involve arguments, negotiating, and learning... still nothing I would ever complain about.  I grew up with a fabulous example of what a great marriage takes.  My parents have been married 28 years and are still so cute and in love, so I knew I would never settle for any less.  They have argued, they have their differences, but in the end I think they realize they love each other too much to let it come between them.  It is funny because that is the exact same way I feel now.  We fight, sometimes we feel like we fight too much but most of our fights stem from the fact we don't have enough time together.  I cannot wait for the time when I am not in school full time and I can work normal hours so I can spend time with him and the family, all at once.  What a concept!  I get so frustrated sometimes at the lack of time I get with him because I really want to spend ALL of my time with him, and the kids of course.

Anyway,  relationships do take a lot of learning and reflection.  For example, I have learned that I used to expect Dustin to already know what I was thinking.  I know it sounds insane, but I just figured he would be able to predict what I wanted him to say or do.  As soon as I realized that is what I was doing, I knew I needed to express certain things with him and that I have no right to get mad at him for something he was never aware of.  Now I know that I can hold a grudge for a (really) long time, and that is something I am still working on.  Either way, I think people give up on some relationships too easily.  I think they expect these fairytales and when they hit any obstacles they just assume they will find another person instead of working on their relationship as well as themselves.  I think by working on my relationship with Dustin over the past 5 years I have discovered so much about myself, that is helping to make me a better person. 

I think my biggest fear is becoming one of those couples that "falls out of love."  I have never fallen out of love, and at this point I can't imagine ever falling out of love with Dustin, but I am just curious if that is what everyone says at one point or another?  I know that Dustin is my soulmate so I know I will do what it takes to ensure that doesn't ever happen, but this is just one of those unexplained fears of my own.  I want to grow very old with this man.  I can't wait to retire with this him, move to California, live near a winery, and travel the world. 

I am just in a state of feeling butterflies, love-struck, and general giddiness.  I have akways been annoyed by PDA and people that can't stop talking about their love, etc.. I have been playing it down for so long, but I really cannot wait to become Mrs. Mollenkopf (or Mollendorn =]) and to live a very very exciting, adventurous, and long life with my love.
So, I really just want to tell some of my friends not to give up on love.  It is out there, it just takes patience and will come when you are not expecting it.  Don't give up on relationships if that love can be salvaged, just make sure your partner is all in and work through it!  Life is far too short to keep running from yourself and love.